Affiliates

PROJECT MOON COW

Project Moon Cow was a secret government program established in the early 1950's in order to investigate the increasing number of UFO sightings around America. It was so named because of the belief, at the time, that the UFOs contained a strange species of alien that came from the moon and for some reason seemed to think that cows were the dominant life forms on Earth. It was later discovered that the aliens were simply abducting cows to make hamburgers.

Project Moon Cow was disbanded in 1964, when it was discovered that the majority of its black budget was being spent at Taco Bell. However, its devotion to the study of bizarre cow-related occurrences inspires us to this day.

MARS COW

Mars Cow is the environmental organisation that has been set up to terraform Mars upon our arrival. As you may well know, Mars is currently an uninhabitable wasteland with a toxic atmosphere, much like modern-day Los Angeles. However, a number of new, environmentally-sound technologies, pioneered by Earth Cow's bio-development labs, will be able to quickly and effectively turn Mars into an Earth-like oasis of vegetation and wild man-eating predators. These technologies include air fresheners, garden hoses and tractors.

Our aim is to set everything up exactly like it is right now on Earth, but without all the human stuff like cities and nuclear waste dumps. Because, as we all know, Nature is a static thing that needs to be preserved, unchanged, at all costs.