Can I Join Up?

The second most-common question we are asked (aside from "what the shit are you guys smoking?", to which the answer is plainly obvious) is "can we join your magnificent organisation?" Well, happily, you can.

Earth Cow is constantly recruiting, and not just from the ranks of retired hippies and their offspring. In order to join, all you have to do is pledge 40% of your gross annual income, and send us a photo of you sticking it to the man. Try to be original, inventive and destructive with your entries. Desecration of prominent landmarks is always good, as is running up to random evildoers (ie. politicians, businessmen and women, basically anyone in a suit) and punching them in the face. Here are a few we've received in the past year:

The Earth Cow logo was unfortunately censored in most news broadcasts - bastards!

This is the picture Bono submitted when he joined up (strangely, we received it before the project had even gotten off the ground. Spooky, eh?). He actually developed voodoo powers for his acceptance stunt. And if you don't join up, this is the guy we'll send after you. Got it? 

Known eco-warriors the Beastie Boys pioneered the the use of the lightsabre and the word "y'all" to further our cause. 

All right, the truly hardcore will actually assassinate someone for their acceptance stunt. To illustrate the "ninja" method of assassination, I knocked up this holographic simulation in our holochamber. You can clearly see that Bono has just done the ol' "what's that over my shoulder" trick, and with Bush suitably distracted, he is just about to cut and run. Meanwhile, yours truly is descending from the ceiling, ready to totally flip out. Remember that this is only a simulation - if it really had occurred, Bush would have been dead seven times before he hit the ground. And I probably would have had a guitar with me, too. Damn, I'll have to remember that for when we carry this one out for real.

Oh, and speaking of assassinations... 

Here we see Bob Geldof assassinating French President Jacques "Nuclear Boy" Chirac with laser vision as part of his Earth Cow acceptance stunt, while Bono and a translator calmly observe the carnage.

So, what are you waiting for? Join today! Send your shit to earthcow@gmail.com - and remember, the more money you pledge, the more money we get!

Disclaimer: Earth Cow accepts no responsibility for the consequences of your poignantly hilarious law-breaking antics. In fact, we do not condone breaking the law - and getting caught - at all. On the other hand, a criminal record for eco-terrorism will undoubtedly appear very impressive to all your hippy left-wing friends. Just something to keep in mind.