Childhood Obesity/Whale Hunting
These two problems go hand-in-hand, which is why they come under the umbrella of a single patented Earth Cow solution.
Childhood obesity is a big problem. It is spread by evil corporations like McDonalds and France, and its victims are powerless in the face of its awesome power. I mean, the kids don't have much of a choice when rabid clowns run up to them in the street and cram fatty foods down their unprotected throats. Well, that's practically what happens, anyway. These evil corporations have to pay for making their products available on the free market!
Whale hunting is also a big problem. Whales are Nature's cows, and I think you all know how we here at Earth Cow feel about cows. Japan is largely the country responsible for these heinous acts of terrorism, and we don't wish to appear racist by pointing that out... but they were fascist evildoers in WWII, after all. They probably can't help it. It must be weird to wake up each morning and feel like hunting whales for no reason, but we have to be tolerant of all beliefs and cultures.
That's why, we think, the solution is obvious: we send all our fat kids to Japan. Once again, problem solved. We sure do rock, don't we?